i didn't know about the eclipse
i guess that's not wholly accurate; i had a vague awareness that "an eclipse" was going to happen, but from my perspective, it was just another one of those eclipses that people briefly talk about for, like, a week. when i'd see a post somewhere about "the eclipse" it never explained which kind it was so i didn't know i was expected to care about this one. apparently it was a special one that's more extravagant and rare.
anyway, i crawled out of my miserable little hole a few minutes before it happened, was told about "the eclipse" starting, and invited to watch everything get dark outside. by invited, i mean it was the kind of invitation where someone tells me i should be doing something that regular people do and my refusals are met with the socially polite version of "shut up and be normal".
during the eclipse, i was informed that this was the special, rare one. i watched this wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime event and, like, it was a little darker outside for a few minutes. it wasn't the kind of dark that would be interesting to see during the daytime, all that changed is that it gave me the same dizzying feeling i get from coloured lights.
since the eclipse, i've been hearing about how people were flying across the world to reach the spots it would be the most... eclipse-y? i've been hearing about how cool and important it was. the sheer volume of posts about this event has made me start thinking about how i missed out on something that was apparently very cool (although if my sampling from the window is any indicator, being there would have made me vomit)
i might not be bothered about missing the eclipse itself. i've never really gotten to experience seeing a cool place in person, so from where i'm sitting, there's no way to know the difference between how it feels being somewhere and seeing a picture of it. i think what's getting to me is that people were doing this in groups. it's an event you travel to with friends, something you gush about with the huge number of people who saw it. that's the part i'm envious of.
the reason i didn't know about the eclipse until it happened is that i'm alone, and the reason i wish i'd seen it is that it would mean i wasn't.